What a Disastrous Date

It was a disastrous date

and it ended the worst

she knew it wouldn’t be the last

and it wasn’t the first

she’d been on a blind date

two times before

and this time was the last time

she promised no more

he was so short and she was so tall

he mumbled a lot

and couldn’t dance at all,

he didn’t own deodorant

well that’s how it seemed

and he was definitely not

the man of her dreams,

he asked her to go

buy her own drink

and that made her angry

and caused her hopes to sink

he told her all about all of his ex’s

then he listed alphabetically

his latest medical expenses

he mentioned his mother

how she helped him get dressed

how she comes into the toilet

when he gets distressed

he was worried for his Dad

sitting out in the car park

his eye sights not too good

when he drives in the dark

he told he farts a lot

when he gets nervous

and his limp made him fail

his application

to join the service

he has a case worker now

at the local centrelink

and his brothers in jail

he couldn’t give up the drink

his sister is pregnant

and lives in the garage

she slept with her cousin

and he’s now at large

he even gave his

old nanna a mention

Because now he’s her carer

and it gets him a pension

he looked into her eyes

and he said tell me about you

I know I talk too much as I often do

So what is it Karen

that you do for a job

She asked rather quickly

is your first name Rob

well no its Winston

he said with a cough

she said sorry mate

now you can run off

22/04/18